It’s well-known that it’s hard for women to achieve orgasms. But what about men? Is it really as easy for them to peak as many suggest? While that might be true, it’s not always the same.
Female orgasms have come to possess a sort of Unicorn feeling to them. Do they exist? Do they not? Is there a g-spot? What can a man do to trigger one? Much like mythical beings whose existence has been distorted over the millennia and whose tales change as they pass down generations, we may never know. However, with all the attention given to the fairer sex, it’s easy to forget that men don’t always have it so easy either.
While pop culture and porn might make it seem as though male orgasms are simplistic and crude, it can be said that men experience orgasms of a different nature depending on their partners. Here are the 15 peaks a man can experience depending on the situation:
The ‘full body paralysis’ orgasm
We know a lot of you men reading this know how good the ‘stutter inducing’ orgasm is. But how many of you have had the joy of experiencing the mythical ‘full body paralysis’ orgasm? That indescribable feeling when, after a series of bed-shaking spasms and an intense orgasm, you can’t move an inch and are in full-body paralysis. All you can do is lie there grinning like an idiot at your partner while you wait for the numbness to go away.
The ‘oh shit, that’s never happened before’ orgasm
Also known as the dreaded ‘premature ejaculation,’ it’s something that almost every person will experience during their first time. But it’s not confined to just the inexperienced. Even those with years of practice may sometimes find themselves climaxing too fast and uttering to their partners: “Oh sh*t, that’s never happened before.’ But not to worry, it’s entirely natural. Caused by stress, lack of focus and a host of other reasons, a bit of calm and poise will no doubt fix everything up once again.
The ‘stutter inducing’ orgasm
How do you tell if two people are meant for each other? No, not through some twist of fate or a rare coincidence, but by whether they each experience the famed ‘stutter inducing’ orgasm at some point in their sex lives. This type of climax leaves both partners in a state where they can no longer speak and whatever they say is gibberish. Our advice: shut up, lay down, and soak it all up.
The ‘volcanic eruption’ orgasm
You could technically club this in with the ‘it has been a while’ orgasm, but we felt it wouldn’t do the ‘volcanic eruption’ orgasm any justice. This type of orgasm is a different beast in comparison to the aforementioned one, and let’s hope for yours as well as your partner’s sake that you’re good at aiming your package. Wouldn’t want to hurt someone, would you?
The ‘it has been a while’ orgasm
Masturbation provides a release that not many will openly admit; which is why it shouldn’t be a surprise that most do so multiple times a week in the least. Any man who’s put himself through the torture of a ‘no masturbation’ month will tell you that the first release after doing so is something else. Now imagine the same scenario, but with sex. Because your parts become so sensitive with the lack of action, the first time after a long time is always the best.
The ‘tag team’ orgasm
As we mentioned in our introduction, what really is a female orgasm? Is it mythical like the Unicorn? Does it really happen? Well, the answer is yes, it does but it’s a lot harder for women to peak than it is for men. As a result, when you do manage to make your partner orgasm, it’s the best feeling in the world. What’s even better? Achieving it at the same time!
The ‘marry me’ orgasm
This particular category of orgasm could technically fit into a lot of the other categories, but we felt it deserves its own place in the list. Women know how notoriously difficult it is to get men to commit to anything, especially relationships. So, ladies, if your man is refusing to pop the question, check for whether he’s having the ‘marry me’ orgasm. If he is, ask him to propose to you, we guarantee it works!
The ‘where’s my blankie’ orgasm
There are those rare occasions where everything goes perfectly well – from the date to the foreplay to, of course, the actual deed. When everything’s said and done, the feeling of satisfaction and contentment is at such a peak that you just fall asleep. Goes to say, when you wake up, there’s not going to be any feelings of crankiness whatsoever.
The ‘tear-jerking’ orgasm
Let’s get one thing straight, there’s nothing wrong in crying after sex; at least, not if do it on rare occasions. Crying after sex sometimes signifies that your encounter was so great that you’re left at a loss for words. What else is left to do but let those manly tears flow down your face? For yours and your partner’s sake, let’s hope it doesn’t happen too often; we can imagine how that might make things awkward.
The ‘Kthxbai’ orgasm
Purveyors of the internet know that ‘Kthxbai’ is a bastardization of ‘Ok, thank you, goodbye’ and an easier way to end an awkward conversation when there’s seemingly no other way out. Men experience this type of orgasm when they have casual, non-committal sex with someone they barely know and would like nothing more than to scoot out of bed once the deed is done.
The ‘I saw the face of God’ orgasm
Undoubtedly the rarest of all male orgasms, we don’t think we can honestly and eloquently explain this one in words. If we’re allowed to be a bit preachy, reaching this climax will lift you into another plane. You reach spiritual, mental, and physical transcendence. To put it simply, you’ll know when you have it.
The ‘toe-curling’ orgasm
No man is going to last very long his first ever time, not unless he’s some freak of nature; and of course, that’s completely normal. As you gain more and more experience in the bedroom, you become better at navigating the nuances of sex and experience feelings a novice can’t even dream of. The high-point for any man will be the ‘toe-curling’ orgasm, characterized by your toes curling from the extreme pleasure.
The ‘moment of clarity’ orgasm
At any given moment of time, we don’t doubt that working professionals experience a mental block which stops them from doing their work properly. No matter what solution you try, it doesn’t seem to go away, and you can’t really put your finger around it. Our solution? Have sex and go full steam ahead at achieving the ‘moment of clarity’ orgasm. You’ll know when it happens because it feels as if the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders.
The ‘non-climactic’ orgasm
Not to be confused with premature ejaculation, the ‘non-climactic’ orgasm happens when you’ve been diddling yourself multiple times a day before having sex. As a result, your body has become so conditioned to the feeling that when you climax during sex, you can hardly feel it and are left feeling hollow and empty. Arguably the worst kind of orgasm, avoid touching yourselves too many times during the day if you want to avoid this at all costs.
The ‘oops, I didn’t mean to fart’ orgasm
If you’re having sex with a partner who you’ve known for a very long time and are incredibly comfortable doing the weirdest and grossest things with, then a fart during sex is more likely to cause a fit of laughter than awkwardness. However, if you’re in the middle of getting nasty with someone you barely know, chances are letting one loose is going to make things incredibly weird and tricky for you.
Hope you will Find out which type you are familiar with !!