Do you often wonder why people don’t like you?
Do you wonder why some people are always liked?
Everyone wants to be liked and loved. This is a subconscious desire that everyone has from an early age. People need other people’s approval and are unhappy if they do not get it.
Some people like to show off. Some people crave for compliments or approval. They do so because they want people to like them. However, sometimes, people do and say things that create the opposite effect.
Though some factors are outside our control, we are responsible, for a great extent, for the way people treat us, and whether they like us or don’t like us. This means that there many things we can do, to increase the chances that people like us.
Our behavior, actions, words and body language, determine how people we meet treat us.
Suppose you enter a shop and you see that one of the employees is watching you and going after you with a sour face. When you ask him a question, he answers impatiently and impolitely. How would you feel? Would you like to continue shopping in that shop? Would you feel that you like the salesperson? You would most probably want to go away and not return to the shop.
Now, imagine that you enter a different shop, where you feel welcomed. The seller smiles at you, is kind, and answers every question patiently and politely, and even offers you glass of water. You would like the salesperson and be more inclined to buy, wouldn’t you?
It is the same in all areas of life. We like people who are kind and helpful, and stay away from unpleasant people.
What can you do to make people like you?
You can do many things that will make people like you more, and I would like to suggest a few. You might have come across these ideas, because as they say, there is nothing new under the sun. However, constant reminder is important.
Tips to Make People Like You
1. A smile will always make people more inclined to like you, but it should be natural and real.
2. Speaking calmly, at a moderate speed and moderate tone of voice would be helpful. Speaking in this way conveys non-aggression and friendliness.
3. Try to make people feel at ease in your company. They need to experience pleasant emotions when they are around you. Even as a boss, if you want your employees to like you, you need to be kind and friendly and avoid creating stress.
4. Avoid unnecessary arguments, especially about politics, religion and beliefs. You may not agree with other people opinions and point of view, and that is okay, but there is no need to make an issue of this or create arguments.
5. Show respect and interest in other people opinions and beliefs, but if they differ from yours, direct the conversation toward other subjects. Try to focus on agreements, not disagreements. This does not mean you should change your opinion or give it up. It is possible to be kind and tolerant with people with different opinions.
6. If someone does not want to talk about a particular topic, respect his or her wish and move on to something else.
7. Do not focus on yourself. This will bore the other person. Focus on the other person, or find some topics you both share an interest. If you share someone else’s topics of interests, he or she will like you more.
8. If you could find what makes a person tick, you will have a great power in your hands. This would be a good conversation topic, with positive emotions.
9. If someone seems tired or bored, stop the conversation or change it to a different topic.
10. Never force people to listen to you. If they are not interested, do not force them to listen to your stories, especially if the stories are about unpleasant matters.
11. Be careful not to be intimidating. Some people are not aware that they intimidate others by their behavior and aggressiveness. An intimidating behavior alienates people from you.
Remember, some people are more serious and do not show emotions easily, and others are more emotional. Some show their feelings and some do not. Some prefer to talk about serious matters, while others prefer to talk about entertaining matters.
If your attitude makes people feel uncomfortable in your company, how can you expect them to like you?
Remember, too much of everything is not necessarily good. Talking too much or talking too little, asking too many questions, or asking none at all is too much. You need to be moderate in your actions. This will increase the chances of that people will like you.
Try to be aware of your body language, behavior and words, since as said earlier, they affect people’s opinion of you. Patience, tolerance, being considerate and helpful, and a little empathy, will win your more friends.